Mad Max: Fury Road and the many grunts of Tom Hardy.

I am a little ashamed.  Not because I love the newest installment of the Mad Max series more than the originals.  And not because I’ve already seen the film three times in theaters.  No.  I am ashamed because although I would love to focus on giving this film a really great review–because it deserves as much–I am instead going to be a complete weirdo, and discuss the habit of grunting, and how Tom Hardy has it down to a sexual art form.  You could read a review about the film and all it’s cinematic glory anywhere, but where else could you get a decent article about the guttural emissions of one of Hollywood’s best?  But I still need to apologize, Tom.  You deserve so much better.

There is no denying it, Tom Hardy is hot right now.  Not just physically speaking, because that’s a given.  But since turning heads in Christopher Nolan’s Inception, he’s been something of a big deal, darling.  Within Hardy, there’s a quiet intensity that sets him apart from other actors in the action genre.  You’ve got your gun slinging Daniel Craig’s, your Grecian Hemsworth’s, and even your sinewy Dwayne Johnson’s in the action game.  Hardy, very versatile in his acting choices, has taken part in each of these distinctions in one film or another.  And yet there’s something more about him.

It’s the grunt.

That subtle, unabating–by God, more than welcomed–grunt.

I first took notice of his habit in Lawless, where Hardy’s role as the ever brooding bootlegger, Forrester Bondurant had me swooning.  There I was, trying not to get sick from all the blood, when I heard it, disguised in an “um” leaving his lips as he shook hands with a beautiful woman.  And my first thought was, “He does that a lot.”  But I brushed the thought aside.  Until I realized that his dialogue in the film was more mumble and grunt than actual words.  To my surprise, I loved it.  While it did bring a sense of light comedy to his character, the grunting brought out Forrest’s vulnerable side as well.  And I immediately admired Hardy’s craftsmanship.

But let’s cut to the sensuous chase.  The grunts are extremely attractive.  After close study, Hardy’s grunt can best be described as almost cat-like, distinguished by it’s purring nature.  While I became mildly obsessed, I began to wonder if there were others like me.  So I searched the YouTube.  And this is what I found:

Don’t have time to watch an entire movie you say?  Well, here’s the answer to your grunting prayers.

Yes.  Someone actually cut together all of Tom Hardy’s grunts for your listening pleasure.  Unfortunately, it’s only the cuts from Lawless.

I know.  I should be grateful that this even exists because it’s already bat-shit crazy.  Whatever world.

But now to Mad Max: Fury Road.  This movie was a piece of art, no doubt about it.  The action was meaningful, the visuals were stunning, there was a flame-throwing guitar player.  It had it all.  I’ll tell you what it didn’t really have.  Dialogue.  Cue Tom Hardy.  It was one of his most outstanding performances to date.  For an actor to revive an iconic role in a reboot series and do it justice is a big deal.  Many have tried, and many have failed, lest we forget Star Wars Ep I-III.  And while a lot of Fury Road’s success can be accounted for in its amazing direction by George Miller, much can be said about the well placed grunts of Tom Hardy.

I mean come on.  When [SPOILER ALERT] Max finally reveals his name to Furiosa, concerned that she may die before he gets the chance, his underlying emotions just haunt the scene.  He looks up to the sky, grunting and shifting her lifeless body in his arms, and I swear it was like a the entire female audience had their ovaries explode.

It’s magnificent.  It’s intimate.  It’s sexy as hell.  And I can’t stop watching this gif.

While I understand this action may be unconscious on his part, I’m surprised I haven’t heard more people talking about it, or even asking Hardy about it in interviews. But we’d like to thank Mr. Hardy and his perfect grunts for enhancing our movie experience in the meantime.

What did you think of Tom Hardy, Mad Max, and all the lovely grunting?  Comment below!